Beach Theme Home Decor

We Don't Need No Stinking Beaches: Beach Theme Home Decor

What is it about the beach? The sea is the mother of us all, certainly, and I suppose the fluids of our every cell respond to her siren song of the tidal ebb and flow. There is the scent of the salt air, the particular freshness of the ocean breeze, the soft surge of the crashing surf. So why did we ever move inland, only to long for a return to an elemental paradise, a desire fueled by colorful tropical drinks and "Gilligan's Island" reruns?

So what is a landlubber to do? Who can afford to buy a house on the shore? And after "Jaws", Katrina, and disease-ridden barrels of used hypodermic needles washing up on the beach, who would want to? Sour grapes, the well-tanned financial elite will say. Well, give me the better odds for survival that the landlocked population has and a beach theme home decor catalog and I'll be just fine, thank you very much.

Of course, the first thing anyone wresting his life from the sea must do is acknowledge his smallness, his helplessness, before it. Instead of storm shutters and stilts, a personalized life ring welcoming you to the Smith's house is a subtle reminder of our tenuous hold on existence. Throw a few lighthouse prints and figurines around the place to reinforce the vigilance necessary to thrive as an ocean-going species.

On the other hand, to demonstrate our ultimate mastery over brute nature, the kitchen and bath can be put to profitable use. Shells of every make and model can be turned into dishes, bowls, trays, platters, candle holders, and so on. Real sponges abound in such settings. The smell of fresh seafood cooking, the bracing vitality of the shower--both perfect accompaniments to a room bedecked with accessories adapted from the treasures of the deep.

So in the end, does it really matter that your house sits on blocks in an Oklahoma trailer park, or that your Romanesque McMansion is four hundred miles from the Gulf, or that the nearest salt water to your ranch style duplex is in Utah? Of course not. Just put the deck chair on the porch, grab a cold one, close your eyes, and let that refreshing, salty prairie wind take you straight to the tropics.